


We were made to cross the line

by keita52



Series: Galactic Dating Service [4]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-10 11:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keita52/pseuds/keita52
Summary: Five times Shepard and Tali referred to each other as “my girlfriend” (and one time they didn’t)





	We were made to cross the line

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberryfiend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfiend/gifts).



_one_

The first time that Birgit Shepard calls Tali her girlfriend, it isn't serious. Well, it is and it isn't. In that moment, with suspicion coming at Tali from all angles, Shepard is very serious about blasting said suspicion into nothingness.

She’s taller than the drunken idiots, and well built, so when she looms over them and asks them to repeat what they just said about _her girlfriend_ , they actually take a minute to think about it, instead of repeating the words in ignorant confidence.

When it's clear that the hecklers are cowed, they leave Flux, Tali’s emotions churning inside her with every step of her foot. Shame, that old familiar friend, at being treated so, even though it was hardly the first time such a thing had happened to her. Shepard’s instant acceptance and trust, not so long ago and not so far from here. Gratitude towards Shepard, for defusing the situation before it could get out of hand.

And a small, creeping hope … _what if she meant it?_ Because that can’t have been the _only_ way to diffuse the situation without a fight. Not that Tali can think of a good alternative just now.

Tali squashes the hope before it can get too far. Shepard isn’t _interested_ in someone like her, a quarian, a nobody out here. They barely know each other. Yes, Shepard’s been helpful and supportive, actually seeming to pay attention to what Tali has to say and sympathetic when she asked for help to complete her Pilgrimage. But she's like that with the entire crew, her refusal to take anything (including herself) seriously somehow working to smooth out the rough edges and knit them into the wildest, wackiest family possible. The Normandy feels like a second home to Tali, despite it being nothing like a quarian ship.

“Tali? Did I offend you?” Shepard sounds unusually sober, her usual boundless energy kept in check for this conversation.

“Oh! Keelah, no,” Tali says, the words coming out fast. “You stopped that fight. I'm grateful, Shepard.”

“So it isn't that the idea of being my girlfriend is…”

“No. Not at all.” Tali’s extremely grateful for her mask, because it keeps her blush invisible. “You … you’re …”

Somehow, Shepard’s hand finds its way into hers, and Tali shuts right up, her face growing even hotter than before. Electricity runs through her. _She_ did _mean it._

“Might be a bit soon to move to exclusivity.” Shepard’s voice is casual, but Tali knows, somehow, that the sentiment is anything but. “After all, I've never even seen your face.”

“We'll fix that, when this is over,” Tali promises, feeling marvelously reckless. “When we stop Saren.”

“And you complete your Pilgrimage.”

They let go only when they reach the Normandy once more, and Tali falls asleep full of hope and optimism.

* * *

_two_

Haestrom feels like a living hell.

Tali’s had to sit there and listen to all of her team die to the geth, one by one -- all of them except for Kal’Reegar, and he won’t last long by himself.

She won’t be getting out of here. She’s tried to chase the thought away, but it always comes back, an asteroid in erratic orbit. The rescue ship won’t come in time. If the geth don’t find a way to break through the door she hides behind, she’ll starve to death. At least that way she won’t give the geth the satisfaction.

“Kal’Reegar to Tali’Zorah. You reading me, ma’am?”

Tali belatedly realizes that this isn’t the first time he’s tried to reach her. “Tali here.”

“Ma’am, you’re not going to believe this. We just had friendly contact.”

Tali sits up in her chair. “Who? Where?”

“Commander Shepard’s here. She’s fighting her way through the geth to my position.”

 _Shepard? Here?_ “You’re sure?”

“Never heard her voice before, ma’am, but I can’t imagine someone pretending to be Shepard. ‘Sides, you said she’s back. You saw her on Freedom’s Progress.”

“And it’s just like Shepard to show up at exactly the right time to save the day.” Tali’s laugh is bordering on hysterical. She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the wall.

“I’ll keep you updated, ma’am.”

The asteroid has escaped orbit and is flying away. _Shepard is here. Birgit is here._

It seems to take forever for her comm to chime again, a signal from the previously dead base camp. This time, Tali gets to see Shepard with her own eyes, through the visual link. She looks the same as she did on Freedom’s Progress, a heartening and reassuring sight. “I’m so glad to see you,” she says.

“Likewise.” Shepard grins. “Love to chat and catch up, but there’s some geth that need killing. Don’t suppose you can open the door from there so we can get to it?”

Tali finds the appropriate button. “Should be open now.” She hesitates. “Be careful, Shepard. And do what you can to keep Reegar alive.”

“Anything for you, Tali.” The connection cuts out before Tali can respond to that surprisingly heartfelt statement. Freedom’s Progress hadn’t given them any chance to discuss the important things. Tali had been too shocked to see Shepard, _alive_. And with Cerberus! But Tali trusted that Shepard had a reason for keeping company with them. The alternative was just unthinkable.

She’s startled when the comm crackles to life again only a few minutes later, letting her know that Shepard has made it to Reegar. She realizes that he must have the comm set to turn on when there’s sound. Shepard’s voice is distant, some of the words cutting out, but there’s one moment when she comes through loud and clear.

“My girlfriend told me to keep you alive. So that’s what I’m going to do. Stand down!”

The words chase away the fear that had started when she’d thought Reegar was going to sacrifice himself as a distraction. And just like before, they set her insides to churning. She can’t brush them off as meaningless. More importantly, she doesn’t want to.

So when the door opens and Shepard comes through it, Tali is next to her before a second has passed, taking both of Shepard’s hands in hers. If they were in a more controlled environment, she’d be tossing her mask aside to kiss Shepard, but her immune system doesn’t allow that luxury.

She contents herself with the beaming triumph on Shepard’s face, and the certainty of kisses to come.

* * *

_three_

Coming back to the Fleet after her Pilgrimage had felt bizarre. Coming back now, with Shepard _besides_ her, is the most disconcerting possible blend of familiar and new.

Tali walks through a scene of quarians like those she’s seen all her life. She can hear them talking about her, and Shepard, and the very large krogan that walks besides them. A few of them even back away from Grunt, which Tali finds far more amusing than she should. For all his external toughness, Grunt really is just a kid at heart, or maybe more like the varren Urz on Tuchanka -- a deadly creature whose allegiance belongs wholly to Shepard.

 _He isn’t the only one who belongs to Shepard_ . Even before they greeted her as _vas Normandy_ instead of _vas Neema_ , Tali had decided that she would sooner die than give up Shepard. To many quarians, giving up the Fleet _would_ be like dying. Tali felt that way, once. Before the Normandy. Before Shepard changed her world.

The most remarkable thing about this relationship that’s sprung up between them is how Shepard seems to view Tali as having changed _her_ world. It makes Tali feel unworthy and delighted at the same time. It makes her want to grab Shepard’s hand and never, ever let go.

They’re escorted through the ship and into the main gathering hall, where the remaining members of the Admiralty board tell her that her father is probably already dead. Tali’s torn between disbelief, anger, and determination to _prove them wrong_.

Shepard’s presence besides her means that the determination wins out, so when she speaks to all of the others, it’s with her head held high and her suit intact. She’s glad to see Kal’Reegar and Veetor’Nara, both looking better than when she had last seen them. She’s comforted by hearing Han’Gerrel talk about the adventures he and Rael’Zorah got up to when they were young.

Then they’re approaching Shala’Raan, and it suddenly feels like more of a chore than talking to Daro’Xen was. Because she loves her Auntie Raan, which makes the earlier betrayal hurt that much more.

“You couldn’t tell me that my father might be dead?” She doesn’t mean for it to come out as harsh and challenging as it does, but perhaps she can be forgiven a little harshness.

“I’m so sorry, Tali. It was not my idea, and I was overruled.”

“Then you should have overruled them,” Tali snaps. “Family means everything to us, because it’s all we have. You taught me that, you and Mother. I …” she stops, swallows back the knot of emotion in her throat. “I would have expected it from _him_.”

Raan glances nervously at Shepard. “Tali, are you sure you want to talk about this in front of …”

“Shepard’s family.” The words come out without any thought, any consideration. Without any doubt. “She’s my girlfriend.”

Tali doubts that anyone who isn’t a quarian could have seen it, but _she_ does. Raan’s look turns considering, her gaze sharper as she looks Shepard up and down. She’s been surprisingly quiet during this conversation, has Birgit Shepard, letting Tali take the lead. For a woman as loud and often impulsive as Shepard, that’s a remarkable statement.

  
“Well.” Raan glances from Shepard, to Tali, and then back to Shepard again. “In that case, I will tell you that I was there the day that Tali was born. I have watched her grow up. I love her as much as if she were my own flesh and blood. And if you ever do _anything_ to hurt her…”

“I never will.” Shepard’s voice is quiet, but she’s grinning, as though this is one big joke. Sometimes Tali thinks that’s how Shepard sees the world as a whole. “Tali means as much to me as I do to her. She’s my family. Her and the rest of the Normandy crew. I lead them. I’m responsible for them. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe.”

To her continued astonishment, Raan pulls Shepard into a hug. Quarians don’t really hug. It’s not the intimate gesture it is among other species (like humans, for example). Linking suits, as Raan once did with her mother, is the equivalent. And it’s clearly meant to be the equivalent. It’s meant to show that Raan accepts Tali’s choice. That Shepard is part of the family too.

It warms Tali more than words can say, but she decides that she will try, sometime in the future.

* * *

_four_

Tali has no idea how Shepard can stand all of these cursed _meetings_.

Well, she realizes after a moment, she knows _some_ of how Shepard manages. It’s by immediately going to spend time with Tali, or Garrus, or Ashley, or Liara, immediately after the meeting is over. That core group, the five of them that have been through unimaginable things together, is the heart of the Normandy. And since the Normandy is the heart of the force striking back against the Reapers --

They’ve all been looking out for one another, the five of them. The others -- Vega and Cortez, Traynor and Javik -- they help as much as they can, but Tali’s sure they feel the gap that exists among the crew. She regrets that gap, at times, and wishes that there was enough time to do something about it.

They’re using the QEC, and though Hackett’s is the face they see, there are other voices in the background offering their contributions. Some of those voices have a distressing tendency to talk right over Tali, and it’s grating on her nerves. It’s grating on Shepard, too, because she starts returning the favor. Talking over the hundredth attempt to insist that _human_ engineers be given priority over the quarians who have recently arrived to help with the Crucible, despite the fact that nearly everyone else agrees the quarians are more qualified.

Tali says as much, going through quarian after quarian and listing their accomplishments and skills. Shepard, seeming to enjoy this a bit too much, counters with the accomplishments and skills of the human who currently holds the position and is slated to be replaced.

Finally, one of the pompous windbags (Shepard’s term) in the back shouts “And why should we trust _her_ with this?”

Shepard stiffens, her face hardening. Hackett turns over his shoulder and glares, presumably at the offending windbag. “Because she’s my _girlfriend_ ,” Shepard says.

Tali will never get tired of hearing Shepard say that, but right now she almost wishes that Shepard had kept her mouth shut. It doesn’t feel like an argument that will win them over.

“That’s supposed to convince me to trust her judgment?”

_Yeah, not winning them over, Birgit._

“It does. Because you all have agreed to trust _my_ judgment.” Shepard’s voice is calm, even as her body radiates anger. “Think about _your_ boyfriends and girlfriends, wives and husbands. Think about how much trust _you_ put in them. Now consider the responsibilities currently resting on _my_ shoulders. Think about how perilous our position is and how often you turn to _me_ to do something about it.” Her voice drops to a near-whisper and gets angrier. “Then think about who _I_ turn to when things get tough. The person who helps keep me on track, helps remind me why we’re doing this, what we’re fighting for. And hopefully, you’ll realize that you _should_ trust Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. That you’ve been _complete idiots_ for not doing so before this.”

“I would also characterize Tali’Zorah as completely trustworthy,” Hackett says. He does something with the controls, and the background chatter cuts out. “I’ll make them see sense, Shepard. You’re not needed for the rest of this. Get some rest. That’s an _order_.”

* * *

_five_

Shepard makes a beeline for her quarters, and Tali follows. In a few moments, they enter Shepard’s cabin. The doors close behind them, the light turning red to show that EDI will block all attempts to enter.

Shepard sinks into the couch and puts her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. It takes Tali a minute to realize that Shepard is crying. She sits down, slinging her arm across Shepard’s back, her other hand against Shepard’s cheek. “Birgit,” Tali says softly. “Talk to me.”

“It’s just --” Shepard takes a deep breath. “It’s the same old shit, Tali, I don’t want to burden you --”

“You’re not.” Shepard’s right about it being the same old shit. They’ve been through this dance, this back and forth of Shepard’s mask crumbling and the insecurities coming out and Tali doing everything she can to help. It doesn’t matter that they’ve done it before. Tali will still do it again. As many times as needed.

Even though it hurts to see Shepard like this, there’s a part of Tali that _wants_ there to be a million more times where she has to comfort her beloved. Because that means there’s a future where they win out against the Reapers.

After a few more minutes, Shepard speaks again. “It’s like they all think I’m some sort of untouchable monolith. That I can just be there and do whatever needs doing, no matter what the whatever is.” She takes a shuddering breath. “Even Hackett.”

“He should know better.”

Shepard shakes her head. “He’s just forgotten, in the stress of things.”

 _She makes excuses for everyone, but she’s not allowed to make any for herself._ Tali keeps the thought inside her, because she’s pretty sure it isn’t something that will make Shepard feel better.

“I stand there and I wonder … I wonder how they can’t see.” Shepard’s hands drop from her face, clench into fists. “I hate myself for being too good at hiding all of this, but I don’t really _want_ them to see me so vulnerable and scared, but maybe if they did … if they understood…”

Shepard trails off, her shoulders shaking again. Tali takes her hand and squeezes it, hard. “I see you,” she says quietly. “I see you vulnerable and scared and I still believe in you. I think you’re amazingly strong for being able to deal with everything that’s had to come at you. You’re my girlfriend, and I love you, Birgit Shepard.”

“I love you too,” Shepard whispers, and then they are reaching for one another, the faceplate of Tali’s suit falling to the ground with a clatter. Their lips meet, part, and they shudder in mutual delight and relief. Here, they can relax and be themselves. They can forget, for a few hours, the war that rages in every corner of the universe, the pressures that both of them face. They can find solace in one another’s bodies. They can love, and be loved, and delight equally in each.

When they come up for breath, backing towards the bed, Tali takes a moment to release the seals on her suit so that parts of it can be removed. She's gotten used to Shepard's immune system, even if there was a rough night when they were reunited after Shepard's six months in lockdown. But it was worth it. It's always worth it, with Shepard.

Tali removes the bottom half of her suit and strips off her gloves, then starts working on Shepard’s clothing. She knows that the fastest way to chase away Shepard’s demons is to overload her mind and body with desire. Her hands trace lines on bare skin, a sensation that never fails to delight. Her fingers linger near Shepard’s opening, and Shepard inhales in anticipation.

But Tali has other plans. She moves her hands outwards and upwards, stopping to cup and massage Shepard’s breasts. Her reward is a soft sigh, a tilting of the head and shoulders to allow better access. Tali’s fingers trace soft circles across Shepard’s nipples, being very careful to put only the barest amount of pressure on that oh-so-sensitive spot. Shepard’s skin is growing hotter by the moment, warming both of them to the core.

Tali knows the exact moment when Shepard loses control. Some nights, they can play the game for what feels like hours, one of them stoking the other to the highest possible fever pitch. Shepard’s impatient, tonight, and Tali doesn’t mind in the least. Shepard’s head comes forward, her lips meeting Tali’s once more. Her hands drop to Tali’s hips as she pulls them both onto the bed, Tali resting on top.

Almost instantly they shift, the motions smooth, a dance they have done many times. Tali savors Shepard’s scent before tasting her. She does not bother with any kind of slow warmup. She knows what Shepard wants --  _ needs _ . Her face is pressed tightly against Shepard’s skin, her tongue moving fast. Their fingers dig into each other’s skin, holding on, providing as much leverage and resistance as their bodies can manage. Shivers run through Tali’s body as she feels Shepard doing the same to her, as though it is a race to see who can make the other come first. 

It doesn’t take that much longer before the race ends -- and if it isn’t a precise tie, well, neither of them is really paying attention. Tali keeps moving, keeps trying to give Shepard these moments of pleasure and contentment, tries to give her good memories to outweigh all of the horrible things happening around them. They’re good memories for her, too, ones that she comes back to when she gets reports of casualties from the Fleet.

They hold each other like it will be the last time, and hope against all hope that it isn’t.

* * *

_six_

It was the first thing that Shepard insisted upon after she could walk again. After months and months of rehab with the top doctors on Earth, months of therapy to deal with the crushing survivor’s guilt as well as a host of other issues that had cropped up during, or been exacerbated by, the Reaper War.

The sun shines brightly on the plateau on Rannoch, the spot where Tali declared that she would build her home while Shepard stood beside her. All of their friends are there, standing in clusters, decked out in their finest. Tali knows they all bear scars, even if some of them are invisible.

But they are all alive. They are all here, on a world that Tali never thought she would see, to celebrate an occasion that only a few short years ago she could never have dreamed of.

Shala’Raan stands in front of them, the sunset behind her seeming to enhance the glow that Tali can see from within her, finishing the ceremony with the words so familiar to their human guests.

“Do you, Birgit Shepard … do you, Tali’Zorah vas Rannoch …”

“I do,” Shepard says, her cheeks bright with tears.

“I do,” Tali says, gripping Shepard’s hand tightly.

“Then before these witnesses, I declare you legally married. You may kiss your wife.”

**Author's Note:**

> Birgit is borrowed from my lovely recipient. I hope I got her right, and what I wrote in towards the end is true to my own experiences with mental illness (which is not the same as yours).
> 
> Title from Le Tigre, "After Dark"


End file.
